Hello readers,
As promised, another intriguing post regarding available jobs. Available from 2015 thru 2020 (if successful)*
First : Vice President
Pay: $230,700 per year adjusted before taxes
$ 27.50 Adjusted Net Income per year after taxes and the late night parties that can be denied later.
Schedule: Anytime the President feels it's necessary to "fill in" , not including the Red Eye flights to go take care of a "hot issue".
Requirements: US citizen, yada yada yada. Some schooling but not so much that you make the President look dumb...he can do that well enough on his own.
APPLY HERE..._____AL ELLIOTT___
Second: Secretary of Defense
Pay: $199,700 per year (the extra $700 ) is for new suit.
Schedule: 24/7, sleep with an eye open and watching computer all day. If it "bleeps" inform the Vice President immediately. If Vice President wakes the President, you will be expected to fill the now "vacant" Vice President position and can expect your pay to go from $199,700 per year to around $27.50 after taxes.
Requirements: Military background preferred, but if you have over 10,000 hours playing Doom, Call to Duty or Oblivion, consider yourself a worthy candidate.
APPLY HERE....________________________________
Third: Ambassador to Holland
Pay: Negotiable
Schedule: Hey, everything is legal there...and you want to come back???
Requirements: Can't be legally posted...sorry.
My apologies...the President has appointed his sisters' second cousin's younger brother to this position. NO LONGER AVAIL.
Pay: $50 an hour and some respect
Schedule: Every couple weeks or when the grass is growing..if the President can't find his dog, it's overdue.
Requirements: Must speak English, or Dutch
Must bring own beverages.
My apologies, the President has chosen a senior NCO to mow his lawn. Apparently they were deployed together and got along. Welcome to the team , Joe. POSITION CLOSED
* We need to ensure that the measure to Abolish the Electoral College gets passed before the 2016 Presidential Election. These and other important jobs will be available upon the successful election of yours truly...me.
Have a great day everyone!
Trevor M Dodge
Ugh I thought we we're clear on me as your running mate....I see dissention in the ranks early....
ReplyDeleteDidn't hear back from you....but as long as we are good...you are it!! You the man! Can edit post to reflect the job closure....lol.
ReplyDeleteWe will have to get your pay figured out though....man...taxes are hefty for VP.
ReplyDeleteLOVE that gaming 10k hours will qualify for Secretary of Defense! I only have...hmmmmm maybe 1000 hours in on Oblivion. Soon as Skyrim comes out, That will jump substantially! I think a person who has 20+ yrs of military background will better qualify tho. Someone who has ate MRE's and taken orders to go do what soldiers do... Someone like that would best be suited to know really what is best for us and for the rest of the world!
ReplyDelete